The Role of a Doula in Pregnancy and Birth: Why Your Husband is NOT the Doula (and Why That’s a Good Thing)
- Ashley Strengholt
- Sep 5
- 4 min read
When expecting a new baby, couples often hear about doulas and wonder, “But doesn’t my husband already play that role?” It’s a common question and an important one. The short answer: your husband is not the doula, and the doula is not meant to replace him. Instead, doulas exist to empower both parents during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. With the right support, dads (or partners) can truly shine as the steady, loving presence their wife needs.
Let’s explore what doulas do, how they differ from the husband’s role, and why the combination of both creates a powerful support team for birth.
What is a Doula?
A doula is a trained professional who provides emotional, physical, and informational support to families before, during, and after childbirth. Unlike medical staff, doulas don’t perform clinical tasks like checking vitals or delivering the baby. Instead, they focus on comfort measures, advocacy, reassurance, and guidance. Studies show that doula support is linked to shorter labors, lower rates of interventions (like cesareans or epidurals), and higher satisfaction with the birth experience (Bohren et al., 2017).
Why Your Husband is NOT the Doula
Husbands (or partners) play a unique and irreplaceable role in childbirth. They are the emotional anchor, the familiar voice, the hand to hold, the encourager. But they’re not trained birth professionals.
Here’s why that matters:
Lack of specialized training
Even the most supportive husband hasn’t spent years studying childbirth comfort techniques, labor positions, or evidence-based coping strategies. A doula brings that expertise to the room so dads don’t have to “figure it out” on the fly.
Emotional involvement
Birth is a deeply personal, emotional experience. For dads, seeing their partner in pain can be overwhelming. A doula helps guide both mom and dad through intense moments, reducing stress and uncertainty (Lunda, Minnie, & Benadé, 2018).
Practical support
A doula knows when to suggest a position change, where to apply counterpressure for back labor, or how to encourage rest between contractions. This frees the husband to focus on being emotionally present rather than worrying if he’s “doing it right.”
Why Doulas Do NOT Replace the Husband
One of the biggest misconceptions is that hiring a doula sidelines the husband. The truth is the exact opposite - doulas strengthen the husband’s role by equipping him to be more effective.
Think of it this way: the doula is like a coach, while the husband is the MVP on the team.
Here’s how doulas enhance - not replace - dad’s presence:
Guidance during labor
If dad feels unsure how to help, the doula can quietly suggest, “Try rubbing her lower back,” or “She might like some cold water now.” This keeps dad actively engaged without guessing.
Room for breaks
Labor can be long and exhausting. A doula can step in for a few minutes so dad can eat, stretch, or rest—without mom ever being left alone.
Teamwork
Many moms say the most powerful support comes when their husband and doula work together. While dad holds her close, the doula might press on her hips during contractions. Each role is distinct but complementary.
Research shows that continuous support (especially with doulas involved) improves maternal satisfaction and leads to better outcomes (Dekker, 2019). Importantly, mothers with both partner and doula support report the highest levels of satisfaction (Mottl-Santiago et al., 2008).
Reassurance for Dads: You’re the Rock Star
If you’re a dad reading this, here’s the bottom line: you are irreplaceable. No one can love your partner like you do. No one can bring the comfort of your voice, your presence, your touch. The doula isn’t there to steal your spotlight but to make sure you shine in it.
With a doula by your side, you don’t have to carry the weight of “knowing everything” about birth. Instead, you can focus on connecting with your wife, encouraging her, and sharing in the wonder of welcoming your child into the world.
A doula helps you become the steady, confident partner your wife needs - so when she looks back on her birth story, she remembers you as her rock.
Conclusion
The role of a doula is to support both mom and dad during one of the most transformative experiences of their lives. While your husband is not the doula, the doula is also not the husband. Each role is unique, and when combined, they create a powerful team that supports, protects, and uplifts the birthing mother.
So, dads - rest assured. With a doula’s help, you’ll be the rock star your wife needs, and together, you’ll create a birth experience filled with strength, love, and teamwork.
References
Bohren, M. A., Hofmeyr, G. J., Sakala, C., Fukuzawa, R. K., & Cuthbert, A. (2017). Continuous support for women during childbirth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (7). https://doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD003766.pub6
Dekker, R. (2019). Evidence on: Doulas. Evidence Based Birth. https://evidencebasedbirth.com/the-evidence-for-doulas/
Lunda, P., Minnie, C. S., & Benadé, P. (2018). Women’s experiences of continuous support during childbirth: A meta-synthesis. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 18(1), 167. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-018-1755-8
Mottl-Santiago, J., Walker, C., Ewan, J., Vragovic, O., Winder, S., & Stubblefield, P. (2008). A hospital-based doula program and childbirth outcomes in an urban, multicultural setting. Maternal and Child Health Journal, 12(3), 372–377. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10995-007-0245-9
Scott, K. D., Berkowitz, G., & Klaus, M. (1999). A comparison of intermittent and continuous support during labor: A meta-analysis. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 180(5), 1054–1059. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-9378(99)70668-5
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