Breastfeeding Aversion: Understanding, Supporting, and Overcoming a Hidden Challenge

Ashley Strengholt
5 days ago
5 min read

For many mothers, breastfeeding is a sacred and beautiful connection - a rhythm of nourishment and bonding between mother and child. But for others, this same act can suddenly bring on powerful feelings of irritation, anxiety, anger, or even disgust. These conflicting emotions can leave mothers feeling frightened, ashamed, or confused, especially when breastfeeding is something they deeply value.

This experience has a name: Breastfeeding Aversion and Agitation (BAA) - and it’s far more common than most people realize. The good news? There are ways to manage, heal, and even overcome it.

What Is Breastfeeding Aversion?

Breastfeeding Aversion and Agitation is a physical and emotional response some mothers experience while nursing. It can feel like an almost instinctive “get off me” reaction, accompanied by agitation, anxiety, or even anger during feeds.

These feelings are often strongest during:

Pregnancy while still nursing an older child (“tandem aversion”)
Extended breastfeeding or night feeds
Hormonal transitions (e.g., menstruation, ovulation, or postpartum depletion)
Times of exhaustion, stress, or emotional overload

BAA can happen to any breastfeeding mother - even those who love nursing and are fully committed to continuing.

Why Does It Happen?

The exact causes of breastfeeding aversion aren’t fully understood, but research and clinical observations suggest a combination of biological, psychological, and situational factors.

1. Hormonal changes

Prolactin (the milk-making hormone) and oxytocin (the love and let-down hormone) are both affected by stress, fatigue, and reproductive cycles. Drops in oxytocin during ovulation or menstruation can alter how the body and mind feel during nursing, triggering agitation or skin sensitivity.

Pregnant mothers nursing older children also experience hormonal shifts that may heighten nipple pain and emotional irritability, leading to aversion.

2. Nutritional depletion and low magnesium

Postpartum and breastfeeding mothers often have lower levels of magnesium, zinc, and B-vitamins, all crucial for nerve regulation, stress tolerance, and mood. Deficiencies in these nutrients may increase irritability and tactile sensitivity.

3. Sleep deprivation and emotional overload

Chronic sleep loss, high cortisol, and lack of personal space can lead to emotional burnout. Nursing on demand - especially at night - can feel overwhelming, and the body’s natural need for rest may trigger aversion signals as a protective mechanism.

4. Psychological associations or trauma

For some mothers, aversion may be intensified by past trauma, postpartum depression, anxiety, or sensory processing challenges. The physical closeness and intensity of breastfeeding can sometimes stir emotional discomfort rooted in prior experiences.

How It Feels

Women describe BAA as:

“I feel like crawling out of my skin.”

“I love my baby, but during feeding, I just want it to stop.”

“I feel ashamed for being angry at something that’s supposed to be bonding.”

It’s crucial to understand that these feelings are not a reflection of a mother’s love. They are symptoms - signals from a body and mind under stress.

Why We Don’t Talk About It

Breastfeeding aversion remains under-discussed because it doesn’t fit the cultural narrative of “natural and easy” motherhood. Mothers may fear judgment from family, friends, or professionals - especially in pro-breastfeeding communities where admitting discomfort feels like betrayal.

As a result, many suffer in silence.

But breastfeeding aversion is not rare, shameful, or imaginary. It’s a real, physiologically and emotionally complex condition that deserves compassion and support - not guilt.

Protocols to Help Manage and Heal Breastfeeding Aversion

Here are practical, evidence-based, and holistic steps that can help mothers experiencing BAA.

1. Prioritize Rest and Reduce Overload

Sleep deprivation is one of the strongest triggers for breastfeeding aversion. Whenever possible:

Nap when baby naps (even short rest periods help regulate mood and hormones).
Share nighttime care with a partner (diapering, rocking between feeds).
Try “lying down nursing” or safe co-sleeping to reduce exhaustion.

Faith reminder: Even God rested after creation - rest is not weakness, it’s wisdom.

2. Nutrition & Supplementation

Nutrient depletion is common in lactating mothers. Replenishing minerals and vitamins can support calm and hormonal balance.

Key nutrients:

Magnesium (glycinate or malate): helps regulate stress and reduce agitation.
Vitamin B complex: supports energy and nerve function.
Omega-3s: reduce inflammation and support mood.
Iron & zinc: replenish postpartum stores and support hormone function.

A functional medicine provider or midwife can recommend lab testing and dosages.

3. Grounding & Nervous System Regulation

Because aversion involves a nervous system “fight-or-flight” response, grounding can help retrain the body’s reactions during nursing. Try:

Deep breathing: inhale for 4, exhale for 6 during feeds.
Sensory grounding: feel baby’s warmth, count breaths, or focus on one calming word or prayer.
Body care: foot soaks, gentle massage, or magnesium baths before bed to calm overstimulation.

“Be still and know…” (Psalm 46:10) — sometimes stillness is the first step toward peace.

4. Adjust Feeding Boundaries (Especially for Toddlers or Tandem Nursing)

If nursing an older child or tandem nursing while pregnant, consider:

Setting time limits on feeds (“we’ll count to ten”)
Reducing night feeds or using gentle weaning for comfort sessions
Offering other forms of connection - cuddles, songs, or hand-holding

Boundaries protect both mother and child, teaching healthy relational balance.

5. Reconnect Emotionally

When aversion builds, it’s easy to feel detached or resentful. Simple reconnection rituals can help:

Make eye contact and speak softly to baby during feeds.
Practice gratitude - one small thing you love about this season.
Pray or meditate during nursing to shift focus from irritation to purpose.

Remember: the goal isn’t perfection - it’s peace.

6. Seek Professional Support

If breastfeeding aversion is severe or tied to past trauma, reach out for professional help.

IBCLC lactation consultant: can assess latch, positioning, and feeding stress.
Therapist or counselor: for emotional or trauma-informed support.
Support groups: many online communities (like Breastfeeding Aversion Support Group on Facebook) offer validation and shared strategies.

Healing often begins the moment a mother realizes she’s not alone.

7. Consider Gradual Weaning (if necessary)

For some mothers, gentle weaning may be the healthiest choice. You can honor both your body and your baby in this process.

Drop one feeding every few days.
Offer comfort, closeness, and reassurance.
Frame weaning as a loving transition, not failure.

God designed motherhood with seasons - and no season lasts forever.

Hope for the Journey

If you’re experiencing breastfeeding aversion, please know: you are not broken, ungrateful, or failing. You are a mother under pressure, navigating an intense physical and emotional experience.

Breastfeeding aversion can heal. For many, it lessens with better rest, nutrition, boundaries, and emotional support. Some mothers even rediscover joy and peace in nursing after addressing underlying stressors.

The key is understanding that aversion is a signal, not a sentence. It’s your body’s way of asking for care, replenishment, and space to heal.

Encouragement for Mothers

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

You are doing holy work - nurturing life, giving comfort, sustaining love. If breastfeeding feels heavy right now, that doesn’t erase your devotion or your worth as a mother. Grace meets you here, right where you are.